Sometimes, it’s time for a career move. Sometimes, it’s time for more.
Here will be the place and time to share that move. Maybe it will move you too.
Week 35 – Rabbit
Hopping around places, thoughts, dreams. "It's shocking to realise he does not count yet as a member of this world. It's crazy, once you think about all that he is doing already and the impact he has in our lives." It has been 35 weeks already. Time is going by quickly and in a few weeks, the baby will be here. This is becoming more and more real - he moves a lot, my belly is growing and the contractions make his presence undeniable. I am hopping around our place and wondering if there's something missing. Yet, it doesn't calm me down or removes any doubts. In the end, I have no clue what I am doing. But then again, isn't it enough for the baby to be with his daddy and mummy, to be fed, loved and kept warm? Perhaps that is too naive. So I leap back to his room and wonder what else can we do there. And then I go through his clothes, toys and accessories. It seems like it's all there. What about me? Do I need anything apart from the few clothes that are fit for breastfeeding? Isn't that a luxury already? And the daddy - what else can we do so that he's feeling prepared and on top of things? We talk about it and he's very engaged. Maybe that's all there is to it. I'm positive that the rest will come. The baby will tell us what he wants and needs. We'll learn to adapt to being a family of three people when we are actually three living...
Week 34 – Basketball Hoop
Topping it off Week 34! Tasty realisations "It has never been more clear to me how my body is, how my mind is and what we need." Fine I started by going to the clinic. Then, a nurse took my blood, weight and blood pressure and said I was fine. Afterwards, I waited, talked to a doctor, had the ultrasound and was told I was tired but fine and that the baby was good. Finally, another doctor looked at my results and told me my blood sugar and diet was fine. And, after all that, I went to the Pilates studio for some structural integration to help with the back and pregnancy and my instructor said I was fine. The thing is, they could all have asked me. I knew how I was and I knew how my baby was. It would have saved a lot of time, energy and resources from everyone. It has never been more clear to me how my body is, how my mind is and what we need. Me, to some extent my husband and our baby. Of course, I understand - it's great to go to the doctor, track things, have the reassurance that everything is going well. And, if something is off, it can be very beneficial to know and do something about it. I'm all in for health care for everyone, I wish it was a human right, easily accessible and within reach to everyone. Oh well Having said that, this time it all felt unnecessary. More than that, it felt like I was telling my body that I was ignoring the...
Week 33 – Puppy
When I finally got home, there was this moment of surrender that felt magical.
Week 32 – Bento Box
Excitement and Worries Week 32! Bento Box "It would be nice to put this topic in its own corner, separated from the others, and just enjoy the good state of things. " We just came back from the doctor and both mother and baby are doing very well. We had the screenings, saw the gorgeous baby and everyone is happy with how things are going. The baby is getting a bit big which, combined with Diabetes, might mean he'll be born before the 40 weeks. I am slightly worried about that. Although it's normal and common, I still hope the baby will choose his own birthday, not us, not anyone else. Anyway, we'll do what is best for him and it's too soon to think about it. Except I can't avoid thinking about it 🙂 It would be nice to put this topic in its own corner, separated from the others, and just enjoy the good state of things. He's now the size of a Bento Box, with all its compartments to keep the delicious Japanese food organised and separated. I want to focus on doing the same with my thoughts today. I will try to put the birth worries in the very small soy sauce compartment, the appreciation for the moment in the big square, and everything else in its own space. Getting a taste for it The back of my pelvis is starting to ask for some extra attention. This provokes some sharp and intense pains every now and then, probably pinching a nerve. To help with that, stretching, Pilates and TRX are being very useful. On the other hand, sitting for a bit is enough to...
In the mood for Ideas
Would it be better not to think about any of this, then? And, as a result, let it be, just enjoy my cup of tea and the rain outside? What’s more, allow the stillness to take over, embrace a stoic perspective on things, and don’t move anything.
We failed
Today, we failed. He died alone. And we all became a little bit poorer, a lit bit less human. I can’t imagine the despair or isolation he must have felt. What were his last thoughts? What is this all about? A man drowned in Venice. There were many people, many tourists around. They didn’t help. Instead, they took their phones and cameras and recorded the event. The people shouted “let him die”, “swim back to your country”. And then, in front of everyone, watching and recording it, he drowned. In the meantime, a boat was nearby and threw him a life ring. He refused it. Maybe because that was his intent all along; maybe because of what he was hearing. Perhaps a combination of both. He died. I wonder what happened in that moment. Did people watch him go under and waited until it was clear he was not coming back to the surface? Did they just keep walking and taking pictures of the beautiful monuments? Maybe they wondered if they should or could have done anything to prevent this? Who knows, maybe some felt a hint of guilt, although now it was too late. Initially, the man had escaped his own country and was asking for refugee status, to be accepted in Italy. However, the request was denied. He was 22 years old. Was he a father? Was his family eagerly waiting back home for his news? Were they excited with the dream of a better life? Did they fantasise about Venice, a place of wonders? Maybe they believed Europe is a land where people have all they need and help each other....
The Charlie Mountain plot
Now, who is Charlie? If you remember the terrorist attack to the Charlie Hebdo newspaper , you’ll know that… Je suis Charlie, you are Charlie, everyone is Charlie.
Week 31 – Movie Popcorn
Grab your popcorn What a movie! "I’m glad I got the advice to eat well – now I know I should…? A Comedy, I guess." It's getting tighter and cosier for the baby inside my belly. I can feel him moving more and more and some of his kicking punch against bones and bones. If this was a movie, what kind of movie would it be for him? Maybe Science Fiction. For me, it's been quite a mix of all movie genres. I am starting to get more and more unsolicited advice. From "make sure you are getting enough sleep", "eat well" and, one of my favourites, "make sure you are enjoying this time because it's only 9 months". Sometimes it makes me smile because I know it comes with great intentions. Other times, it tickles the cynic in me. I'm glad I got the advice to eat well - now I know I should...? A Comedy, I guess. Anyway, being tired has an impact on this. Having said, I think I've adjusted to the new levels of energy. If I am too tired to do more, I do less. Simple as that. Can't really fight it. Definitely not an Action Movie. I'll just make some popcorn (figuratively, because I was told to eat well). Besides, at least now I have an option to do less. If I get pregnant again and there's another child to care for at the same time, it won't be as flexible. Ah, how exciting! Imagine that, a house full of kiddos, plotting their next adventure. Suspense The baby room seems to be ready but I...
Week 30 -Helmet
I’m too vulnerable out there. My chest is on fire. It’s cold outside.
Team Development with MBTI
MBTI is clearly a good tool for this kind of things although it’s just one of many frameworks that helps a conversation get started. It gives you a set of concepts and vocabulary that you can then easily share with others.
Week 29 – Pineapple
It’s like we have a direct phone line that is always dialled in.
Finish line
The final milestone to the Coaching Certification has started. This evaluation consists of eleven sessions of Observed Coaching and professional feedback. Today was the first session and it was very good to see other people coaching. There were many different styles and approaches they used. I took great tips and realised that I am happy with many aspects of my coaching style. One of the highlights was the Observer. She was awesome at giving constructive feedback. She made sure that the message got through while keeping the receiver motivated. Giving feedback is hard and it is often harder than receiving it. This is especially when you care about the receiver or the topic at hand. Sure, feedback is a gift. Yet, sometimes it's a bitter one, even when wrapped in good intentions and arguments. When getting feedback, one thing that has helped me a lot was to think of how much I could take from it to get better. It's not about me, it's about the project of situation. Also, when it is not useful, I remember that Feedback is often more about who gives it than who receives it. Trying to get in the feet of the person giving feedback (their beliefs, impressions, projections, expectations...) can be quite helpful in understanding what is being said. Back to Coaching. I am excited about getting it done and I have been working more on the website to promote the service. I still don't know when I'll be able to start given the new member of the family. Either way, I can't wait...
Week 28 – Coconut
Connecting with others Week 28! 3rd Trimester "There's something that feels quite special about relying on a strong community to be a part of the baby's life." Interacting The baby is moving and kicking more and more. It's quite fun and interactive, including for his daddy. We had a busy week, with appointments and family visits. It turned out to work quite well. It provided a good distraction from the Diabetes and more focus on the baby and the people we care about. There was this moment where three generations of women put their hand on my belly to feel the baby. Surely each of them was experiencing something very different from the others but they all seemed to be wishing the baby good things. It was a very powerful feeling and an intense sense of connecting with others. There's the saying "it takes a village to raise a child". It is a bit hard to imagine but it must be quite spectacular to have such a network of people. All of these friends who love and care for a child, contributing with what they can and want to their health and happiness. How that combines with a sense of privacy and family boundaries, I'm not so sure. Maybe I have a naive view about it and in reality, it's an emotional chaos filled with conflict. Still, there's something that feels quite special about relying on a strong community to be a part of the baby's life. Connecting In the meantime, I've been reading more about the local system for children. It seems like it's very oriented towards group activities, exploring different types of...
Week 27 – Lamp
Pregnancy Challenges Week 27, it's growing! "There are these flash moments when it's real, acutely real and overwhelming." Emotional Challenges The baby is now the size of a camping lamp or something like 14,5 inches and 37 cms. He's big! This week, with the new year and having the husband at home there was more interactions between daddy and son. There's still some time for the next appointment when we get to know more about how he's progressing and if all is on track for birth. Because he will be born. I know, this might sound very obvious but it hasn't been that obvious to me. Sure, he is kicking and growing, we have been chatting and feeling each other. The pregnancy has been a huge part of my life. I can feel him and his presence is very clear and intense. Yet, the idea that I will be giving birth to him and then he'll be out in the world is only starting to scratch the surface of my emotional fabric. There are these flash moments when it's real, acutely real and overwhelming. And then they fade away to a more romantic, peaceful awareness that we'll be a family of three and a wonderful baby will be joining us. Physical Challenges At a more physical level, it was a week of challenges. There has been some extra dizziness, I'm still quite tired and have headaches every now then. Otherwise, it's just wonderful to see the belly growing, feeling it moving and kicking. I've been lucky so far with sleep and different body pains - touch wood! - and it...
Happy 2016. Happy 2017!
A moment of Gratitude. It's New Year's time, at least in this part of the world. While I never fully engaged in the promises and commitments for the following year, it is unavoidable to look back at the past 12 months. For the first time since we are together, my husband and I are spending the last night of the year at home. It's just us and the fireplace. We are not going to exotic places or where the weather is the opposite from here. We love to travel and explore new places while taking advantage of a less hectic rhythm at work. This time, being pregnant, that wasn't really an option and we couldn't be happier about it. It means there's a baby coming and we are actually experiencing the cosy environment of a home, a family home. As I write, he's preparing a delicious meal. He has been researching and preparing for it with great care and excitement. Now, he's putting it to the test and he seems to be loving it. With such dedication, I doubt this could turn out anything but an amazing meal - he's not so sure, though 🙂 I am also glancing at the pictures of some of the highlights of the year: our marriage, the celebration with the family, the different trips, the moment we found out we were expecting a baby... it was a great year. An incredible year. I've also left work and stepped into the unknown, trusting that my husband and I can build the life we both dream of. It's been an adventure, confusing and exciting; sometimes vertigo inducing. So...
Week 26 – Bowling Pin
Adapting Non stop changes "If there's no awareness that there is more beyond this awesome cocoon, is the cocoon making all of it happen?" Another week, and I've been adapting a lot to a new reality. The belly keeps growing, not tremendously this week, and the baby is active and kicking around at will. I've been talking to him a bit more, it feels a bit funny but it's quite nice overall. In the meantime, the baby is underwater. It must be quite a spectacular experience to be in a small, warm and cosy place and yet get these sounds, lights and other sensations coming from... where? If there's no awareness that there is more beyond this awesome cocoon, is the cocoon making all of it happen? It's hard to imagine but somehow I have the feeling it must be amazing for the baby. I'm slowly getting used to the idea of tracking what I'm eating and the blood sugar levels many times a day. All of this because I failed the Glucose Tolerance Test. I'm not a big fan of needles, though. Next week, we'll know more but so far the results are good. I am still naively hoping the doctor will say it was a false positive and everything is fine. Either way, it's going to be okay. Given the Christmas season, the diet will not be as lean but there will be more data to analyse. Christmas will be different this year. My husband and I will be at home with the baby. This is so different from all the travelling we did in...
Week 25 – Baseball Glove
There’s a feeling of impotence and doubt to process before moving on.
Week 24 – Eggplant
…my body has been performing all of this amazing work and it feels like there’s little that I can do at the moment to help it.
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