Time for ChangesCareer Changes
My job was now very far from my official role. If anything at all, I was learning “the game”, but I didn’t like playing it. I didn’t want to like playing it.
To say they were wearing suit and tie would be an understatement. All men, all at least 10 years older than I. My t-shirt was suddenly feeling itchy.
In the end, these are other peoples’ words and beliefs. We, my husband and I, were more interested in our own thoughts.
Little did I know that I was acting like those overtired toddlers. They run around the house until suddenly they collapse and fall asleep.
In my case, I fainted and fell on my face in a public place.
Eventually, it became clear, though: I don’t want to manage people. I want to partner with them to help them grow and live the lives they want. There is a clear overlap but there are also a few areas that are at odds. Tempting as it was to accept the invitation, it would move me away from my passion of coaching.
Still, there had been a damage to the brand – the opposite of my main purpose at work.
I did miss and wish there had been more diversity in my teams. If we were serving global users, it made a lot of sense to have global teams.
I wondered about the answer I could have given, the words I didn’t say. L’esprit the escalier, as they call that feeling of the having the perfect reply too late. The difference is that this feeling lasted for months, if not more.
It was too late. I was already in love with the company. But that day, I felt stunned, and that feeling remained for a while. I had invested a lot to make “this” happen and, it turns out, “this” was something very distinct.
“So what must we do to help Inês not feeling excluded?” I can tell you what: asking questions like that.
“If you are doing this for free, in your spare time… you might as well do it for real. How do you feel about being the Marketing person for Portugal?”
My manager, trying hard to help, had the brilliant idea of giving me a paper and a pen to write it down. I picked a pencil, instead – it was less permanent – and wrote the words: “my mother has cancer”.
MBTI is clearly a good tool for this kind of things although it’s just one of many frameworks that helps a conversation get started. It gives you a set of concepts and vocabulary that you can then easily share with others.
The final milestone to the Coaching Certification has started. This evaluation consists of eleven sessions of Observed Coaching and professional feedback. Today was the first session and it was very good to see other people coaching. There...
Everyone that enters our lives is a teacher, they all have something to give. This lesson was a very expensive reminder that I come first. It is true that I can try to understand where others are on their path in life and what they are struggling with (narcissism, a very broken soul?). Yet, protecting my own space and needs must come first.
Occasionally it still seasons my dreams with characters, projects and experiences from the past.
So, what happens when you leave the place you've been intensely working at for the past ten years? Surprisingly little, at first. I still wake up from dreams about work, wondering about a report, or a project that needs to get done. A keyword, a name will trigger an...
It was 9:30 on a Friday and I was having the meeting with HR. Everytime we had worked together in the past it had been great so it felt particularly awkward to be having an exit interview with them. It was over 10 years working there and it matters to me to leave...