Pregnancy Journal – Baby is coming!
A pregnancy journal, with weekly updates on how it feels to grow a baby: physically, emotionally, mentally. Follow the good, the bad and the awesome of having a baby.
Week 26 – Bowling Pin
Adapting Non stop changes "If there's no awareness that there is more beyond this awesome cocoon, is the cocoon making all of it happen?" Another week, and I've been adapting a lot to a new reality. The belly keeps growing, not tremendously this week, and the baby is active and kicking around at will. I've been talking to him a bit more, it feels a bit funny but it's quite nice overall. In the meantime, the baby is underwater. It must be quite a spectacular experience to be in a small, warm and cosy place and yet get these sounds, lights and other sensations coming from... where? If there's no awareness that there is more beyond this awesome cocoon, is the cocoon making all of it happen? It's hard to imagine but somehow I have the feeling it must be amazing for the baby. I'm slowly getting used to the idea of tracking what I'm eating and the blood sugar levels many times a day. All of this because I failed the Glucose Tolerance Test. I'm not a big fan of needles, though. Next week, we'll know more but so far the results are good. I am still naively hoping the doctor will say it was a false positive and everything is fine. Either way, it's going to be okay. Given the Christmas season, the diet will not be as lean but there will be more data to analyse. Christmas will be different this year. My husband and I will be at home with the baby. This is so different from all the travelling we did in...
Week 25 – Baseball Glove
There’s a feeling of impotence and doubt to process before moving on.
Week 24 – Eggplant
…my body has been performing all of this amazing work and it feels like there’s little that I can do at the moment to help it.
A is for awesome
It seemed to shine and reflect the sunlight. I kid you not; it was like those scenes in the movies, where the light and the mood is just right. It was awesome.
Week 23 – Grapes
I remember being very young, maybe three or four years old, and being on the country side with my great grandmother. It is the only memory I have of her and possibly the only time we were together. The smell was delicious, the sun was nice and warm. And she was wearing black, leaning forward with a very curved back. As a little kid, it felt like she was curling forward to be closer to my height. We were in her vineyard and we started picking up grapes. She had a lot of energy and was super quick dealing with the grapes and leaves, smoothly filling one basket after another. She tried to tell me how to do it: don't pull the bunch of grapes but rather hold the stem tightly and then break it sharply so you free it up in your hand. I never did it again but the memory stayed and it still provides comfort and warmth. Our baby boy is now the size of a bunch of grapes and is moving more and more. I like to believe that he is now interacting with us, with stimuli from the outside world. I wonder which memories will we create and which ones will, for some random reason, stay with him forever. Will he remember those carefully crafted and prepared moments or something that we didn't even notice was happening? Probably a bit of both. Will my husband and I ever notice these memories being created on the spot and realise that, long after we are gone, he will remember certain things as clearly as if they had just happened?...
Week 22 – Corn!
I finally decided to postpone the Pilates certification. Ah, it is hard to put things on hold, miss expectations and put things you like in a "later" box. Still, the moment the decision was made and shared there was a huge relief, a sense of weight off my shoulders. The additional stress is down, and suddenly I feel super tired, sleepy and relaxed. My body got the message that it can chill for a moment. I slept so well these last few nights that the mood goes up the roof. Of course, I'll continue to practice and study Pilates - but without the pressure of hitting certain milestones before the baby comes. It will be good for both of us to stay active but not try and push through artificial deadlines. Besides, I already have the Coaching certification to be accomplished in January. As the belly grows - and it sure is growing! - And the big day approaches, the reality sinks in more and more and I want to enjoy it. It feels so incredible that a boy is growing inside me and starting to interact with the world around him. My husband can now easily feel the moves and kicks, and it's incredible to see them "together". Definitely, a great week so far and the weekend was beautiful, with fireplace, relaxing, good food and company, and with the Christmas spirit starting to creep in...
Week 21 – Weasel
The boy is big! Over 26 cms, moving around non stop when awake and then going back to sleep. He is just adorable and I can't wait to meet him 🙂 My husband was travelling for most of the week and there was plenty to do about the move, paperwork, coaching certification, etc.. On top of that, a lot to do and decide regarding Pilates, which has been quite draining. All and all, I've been quite tired and I am not too happy about it. There are no big problems, just a lot of things biting at my peace of my mind and pulling the stress a bit up. It adds up and I ended up feeling quite meh and just wanting to be left alone, imagining being somewhere warm with my bare feet on the sand, smelling the salty water and hearing the ocean waves breaking nearby. I would, of course, be having a magic ice cream with no calories or sugar; just delicious nutrients for my boy. Down here on earth, however, things remained tense. I then talked to my man, once he was back. He was so tired and somehow he managed to be really present and kiss the anxiety away. How he does that, I have no idea. I am so fortunate. Bit by bit, things are progressing but I really want to be less tense; it's not good for anyone. I've resumed meditation and made a point of not studying theory for Pilates (Anatomy and what not) nor unpacking much this week. That should help a little. I also need to start filtering better what...
Week 20 – Paper Plane
I had a cold this week and it was quite deflating. After a strong active period last week, the momentum was gone and the energy drained away.
Week 19 – Hedgehog
What a week! Everything at once A spiky week A trip to London, 5h Pilates workouts, a final certification exam, hitting my face against a wall, my dad’s visit and catching a cold – it was a fully packed week. This was a packed week: I had a trip to London, with 5 hour long Pilates workouts. I also went through a final certification exam. To top things up, I hit my face against a wall, my dad came to visit and I caught a cold. It was intense, exhausting and I learned a lot. It was great to finally get the Psychometrics certification. This enables me to use a whole set of valuable Personality and Ability tools in coaching. I'm quite excited about this. The Pilates training was also very good. There were several long workouts pushing me hard. On top of it all, I got to observe an outstanding instructor working on her clients. I was fortunate enough to stay at her home, enjoy her family hospitality and delicious food. It was quite generous of her and I learned a lot this week. Spikes With all this, the change of weather and sleep deprivation, I ended up catching a persistent cold. My husband caught it as well so now we are both quite tired. We are trying not to feel overwhelmed by everything we still need to sort out after we moved to this new wonderful home. My dad also came for the weekend - it was the first time we meet since he learned I was pregnant and that I am not working....
Week 18 – Slingshot
The baby is the size of a slingshot Growing in all areas Moving forwards "How much can we share of all the noises, movements, feelings and thoughts that I am experiencing now?" Growing and Moving It has been a very busy week, filled with an overall feeling of positive change. The baby keeps growing and all seems to be going very well. He is moving a lot, which feels amazing, and I am having a bit more energy during the day. Feeling the baby move seems to be motivating and uplifting, somehow. This increase in energy is very much welcome. It will be needed as we are moving to a new home. It's going to be a new beginning and nest for our family. It's wonderful to imagine the boy running around the house, growing healthy and strong. There's also a growing feeling of nurture, nesting and humility inside me. I just want to give this baby everything he needs to grow and become a healthy and authentic person. Time machine As I walk outside and see children of different ages, it feels like I'm in a time machine. Basically, I am looking at the same essence in different points in life. Our boy is already in one of those phases, even if a very early one. But looking at toddler, pre-teens, teens... they have all been babies in their diapers. And, if all goes well, they will all move on to the next phase, taking the baton of the new step in life. Everyone we ever met and never saw, was once like our baby...
Concentrated Happiness
We have a new home, a beautiful home and it's just unbelievable how great this phase in life is. We spent the weekend packing and unpacking, dealing with little time and tiredness but in the end it was actually quite a lot of fun. The new home is beautiful and we are now discovering bits and pieces at each moment. There's a lot to process and assimilate and I have caught myself a few times just looking out at the garden (because now there's one!), without moving for a long time, while feeling like I'm doing a million things at the same time. It's fascinating. Our baby will, hopefully, grow up here; this is a home, a real home. Apart from that, there was a lot at work for my husband. I tried to help a bit, which was exciting because it was related to topics that I care about and enjoy thinking about. We get along very well, although it did get stressful at times. A lot to do, in very little time. Then again, we do enjoy the last minute adrenaline. With all this, there has been little time to prepare for next week, when I'll be travelling to the UK for an intense training for the Pilates apprenticeship and to take the final exam for the Psychometrics Certification. Both should be really good and I'm looking forwards to it. However, we just moved in and it doesn't feel good to leave my husband behind, with all the boxes and furniture lying around. On top of that, the energy levels could be higher and I wonder if...
Week 17 – Chipmunk
Baby is the size of a chipmunk Can't eat enough nuts for this Fast Progress, Slow Fuel "The feeling in the belly changes every day, becoming closer to what I imagine the kicks will feel like." 17 weeks already, things are going rather quickly and smoothly. The main symptoms at the moment are dizziness and headaches, which come and go. It looks like I need more protein and I'm not sure how to get the recommended 70+ gr per day - it's a lot! I'm considering protein supplements but, of course, the debate amongst parents is high. Some of the options seem very natural, with no added creepy substances. So, this might be a way to do it without eating multiples steaks and beans every day. The baby is growing. The feeling in the belly changes every day, becoming closer to what I imagine the kicks will feel like. Meanwhile, we are making progress with the preparations for the baby. We are getting clothes, information and what not. Picking a name is tough but we have a good front runner. We might still change our minds a few times, though, until we finally meet our boy 🙂 We have been receiving plenty of advice on what to do, not to do and how to do it. It is a wonderful sign of care so it's been mostly endearing so far, even when not particularly useful. Pilates has been helping quite a lot. Although the last few days my arms were super sore. It can be quite challenging sometimes. Still, it is being super beneficial...