Week 29: Missing Bunnies
A week full of realisations, missing moments and opportunities and, most of all, full of joy.
Week 29: The baby is now the size of a bunny
The week started off great with an iron infusion that will help to get some energy and strength back. It was a bit scary, mainly because I don’t like needles. I was bracing for unpleasant side effects but it went very smoothly, quickly and the results were almost immediate. Maybe there was some wishful thinking present, but the reality is that I started feeling better by the time I got home. This treatment allowed me to climb a few stairs without feeling like it was Mount Everest, being more present for my family and overall getting a sense of being more alive. It is not a miracle cure; I am still tired but, hey, there’s nothing to complain about.
The pregnancy is going very well. The baby is hopping around, full of energy and being showered with love. We are now making progress towards having some support during delivery and the first times. It is exciting to think about the new phase and imagining how things will change.
The doctor is also pleased with the progress, and we can already see his head is growing big, just like his daddy and brother. It’s sweet, adorable even, although I can’t help but wondering if that is going to make up for another herculean labour.
The baby is stretching; the boy is running, my man is back home and dealing with the discomfort of removing his wisdom teeth. On my side, my main exercise is keeping the logistics going, everybody clean, fed and happy (myself included). Apart from that, there’s not a lot of stretching or exercising going on – I miss Pilates and have the machine right here, so I need a bit more planning to make it work. For now, the only thing stretching (a lot!) is my belly as this baby boy keeps growing and getting ready to join this fantastic family.
In the meantime, with such a busy week, I realise I am missing alone time, being just in my own company. Taking care of this home and family is spectacular, but I miss the quiet time to listen to what’s going on inside my mind. As I shared this with my husband, he told me I was being kicked out of the house on Sunday, and he’d be with the kid. No excuses, grab the camera and go. And, ah, do I miss going out by myself and hunting photos!… So, here we are. A great life. Tired, but happy.
Then, as he also tried to find moments here and there to leave me alone, I started feeling uneasy. It took me a moment to realise why. I was also missing my husband’s company, being just with him. After the trip and the busy schedules, and being with our kid, there had been little time to chat, the two of us. Not just share the simple daily moments (sleeping together, dinner, etc.) but simply being and talking. And so we are making room for that. And it’s complicated to find the space sometimes but definitely worth it. I am very fortunate we met.
Finally, there are the missing work opportunities. Someone from my lost job reached out mentioning something about coaching and maybe we could do something together. It quickly became evident that I wouldn’t have the time or energy required to invest significantly in any partnership. And it probably won’t get any better any time soon, with a new baby on the way. There are some sorrow and mourning for that. I love coaching and would like to be doing more of that. But it’s not forgotten or stalled entirely either.
It is a small trade-off for dedicating myself to this family and life we have. And it is enough to look at their faces or feel their kicks to smile and be incredibly grateful for this decision.