Week 19: Sunglasses!

Dealing with myself, during this cranky week, with no particular reasons for it.

Looking for new Lenses

Week 19: The baby is now the size of sunglasses

Can’t see anything

I’ve been cranky, tired and frustrated for a good part of the week. Probably because of the hormone roller coaster, I haven’t been sleeping enough; it is hard to fall asleep and very easy to wake up. Basically, it feels like I am constantly in alert mode, which easily triggers the alarm when you have an amazing little boy sleeping next door. 

 So far, I was happy that I haven’t been taking it on my husband who is also tired, from working hard, doing all the hard work with moving into a new home and also supporting me and taking care of the boy. However, this has not been the case these past few days. It’s embarrassing to acknowledge and realize that my husband has been on the receiving end of my blistering looks. 

He has been patient with me, for which I am very grateful and fee a little guilty. Sure, it is common for that to happen between couples but it doesn’t usually happen with us. And no, it’s nothing too intense, definitely no raised voices or anything… but still. He doesn’t deserve it. And while it is true that because we love each other I can get away with this behaviour for a while, it is also true that because I love him, I don’t want him to have to deal with it.

Enter pink sunglasses

Hence I’ve decided to respond to this crankiness with kindness. I am confident it will work. For that, it will be necessary to wear my imaginary pink sunglasses and see the beauty and good in things around me. To notice and savour the positive things happening. Our boy doesn’t want to eat his pureed food even though he doesn’t have enough teeth to eat more solid stuff? Look at how autonomous and independent he is becoming! There is still a lot to organise around the house to make it feel more like home? How amazing that we found ourselves a such a beautiful place to live in, to begin with.

Feel good sunglasses

My belly is growing a lot. It is now clearly visible that I am pregnant and I can feel the baby more and more. In fact, today, I think I had the first little practice contractions. It’s exhilarating!

I got some more grey hairs, a few appearances during the first pregnancy. There’s no way around it; I need to accept it. It feels like it’s too soon but the reality is what it is, and here they are. Between like of time, not wanting chemical stuff that might hard the boy or the baby and not loving hairdresser visits, it will be interesting to find the right way to deal with them.

At least I got the compliments that a) I look even better than before having kids b) that I got visibly slimmer, despite the bigger belly. These boosted my confidence a little and made me feel good. I am a glowing pregnant woman, even if overtired. My husband agrees and, given my previous commitment to the pink sunglasses, I am not going to question this feedback.

We spent some time in the water this week. Oh, it is soooooo good to feel lighter, flowing and floating in the water. It is one of the best things while pregnant and a lovely way to connect with both the boy and the baby in the belly. I am looking forward to going again next week. It feels like real quality time for us, and my body seems to gain new energy afterwards.

In the meantime, time for sleep.

Good night beloved husband, dear boy and magic baby. I love you all.