It’s been a while and things are very lively at the moment.
I still think about the company often, and about different roles taken during the time there – most of it very fondly. Occasionally it still seasons my dreams with characters, projects and experiences from the past. All and all, however, I mainly feel like the page has been turned and a new chapter has started.
There was an awkward feeling in the beginning, a mixture of confusion and maybe even some embarrassment, when saying I am currently not working. It was weird because it was such a big part of my identity and suddenly it was not there anymore. Except that, what I did was not who I was and now I am much more in tune with that obvious fact.
Last week, my husband and I went for a business dinner with some of his mates and spouses. I was asked what my job was and I was suddenly quite comfortable saying “Actually, I left the company recently. I’m working on finalising my coaching certification, Pilates and growing a family”. And it felt great and invigorating. And that was contagious because for once I didn’t see any judgement or disappointment on the other side. We just chatted about these topics and the other person’s projects and it just felt nice.
One thing hasn’t changed though: the appreciation and gratitude I have for my husband. How he supported me through the process of making the decision and then making it happen. For us being able to put all our savings, projects and dreams together and finding a way to make it work with less one salary; for never, for one moment, making me feel selfish but rather telling me how glad he was I wanted to give so much to our well-being. What a man…!
I am now pregnant – yay! – we are moving to a new home, I’m studying like crazy, training at the Pilates apprenticeship and I’m half-seriously picking up German again. There’s a lot. And he is also working a lot, studying new things and getting ready to this new phase as a dad. Not having to go to work as freed up a lot of time and energy that is making a huge difference: not only it’s making a lot of these things possible but it’s allowing us to still go to bed in harmony and have energy and excitement when waking up.
Maybe I’ll start working soon with coaching, Pilates, both or something else; maybe not. Who knows? Maybe the economy will break down; maybe things will change in unpredictable ways. We don’t know and nobody knows. What we do know is that we are so much better off with this decision that it’s hard to measure.
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