Everyone that enters our lives is a teacher, they all have something to give. This lesson was a very expensive reminder that I come first. It is true that I can try to understand where others are on their path in life and what they are struggling with (narcissism, a very broken soul?). Yet, protecting my own space and needs must come first.

So, what happens when you leave the place you've been intensely working at for the past ten years? Surprisingly little, at first. I still wake up from dreams about work, wondering about a report, or a project that needs to get done. A keyword, a name will trigger an association with work and the impulse to find out more, to interfere. I still say we/our when in reality it's they/theirs. Every now and then there is a pang of anxiety, a feeling that this is just a vacation, an interruption; a sense of the floor slipping under my feet. There are also some artefacts from work. I made my best to not follow the urban myth that all employees steal something from the company but a few things remained nonetheless: the company credit card, the mobile SIM card, stickers from events, etc. Looking at those remind me of my previous second-home; the place I'd go to when I needed to escape from problems, to feel I can deliver and remind myself that there are things I am good at. It was also a way to avoid confronting what I really wanted and needed in life. Now, don't get me wrong - it was a really good company to work for and it gave me a lot and I gave it a lot. No criticism, no judgement, a lot learned and a lot lived. It's just it's still running in my blood and it's time to get it out of my system. So, I've been looking at ways of getting rid of these items; to burn and let them go....

It was 9:30 on a Friday and I was having the meeting with HR. Everytime we had worked together in the past it had been great so it felt particularly awkward to be having an exit interview with them. It was over 10 years working there and it matters to me to leave without any burnt bridges and showing the utmost respect for everyone. Having said that, it also makes a statement when you are leaving without any plans in terms of career. There was a lingering question on whereas I was unsatisfied with work or colleagues. The person I was meeting though really got me, though, and understood my wish to find out what else is out there (now out here) and to want to dedicate more time and energy to those I care about. As part of the protocol, you have to return your equipment because it's actually not yours (no matter how many times you fell asleep while using it or how much you took care of it throughout the years) and security measures must be taken to all of it. Being an introvert and feeling overwhelmed, I avoided any sort of goodbye parties, gatherings and, in fact, any kind of interaction at all. It was possibly seen as a bit rude and cold but, hey, it's your last day - you should live it as you think it's better. The toughest part was to return the badge. Fortunately, you can just drop it in a box at the reception so the dramatic feeling of it is somewhat spared and lived in a more private manner. I was,...

Reframing Perspectives My first coaching session was about reframing perspectives. The main message behind it is that Acceptance is not resignation. It's understanding things as they are, keep standing and being able to then find the best way to respond. You might not change the situation or event but you can change how you respond to it. We have our own perspective on different topics and they impact how we live things, just like if perspectives were filters in a camera or sunglasses you put on suddenly the world looks different. Yet, if your perspective is negative and defeating so will, most likely, be your response. An example would be believing that if you are left alone with a cigarette, an icecream, or a bottle of wine, you are doomed. These things then get a lot of power over you; you become disempowered and weak in the face of these addictions. With this perspective, you can't win, you can only fight it and struggle while there's energy. Reframing is that conscious effort to see things differently. Fake it, imagine it, reflect on it, play with it - whatever floats your boat. For me, the main reframing in the past years was in regards to work vs family. I studied hard, worked hard and continue to do both. And then I realised that these efforts to reach the next milestone never end. The role can always be more complex, the salary higher, there's always another degree to take, another training to pursue. And then? And then repeat. It was a really anxious journey to come to the realisation that this...

  It's a simple email, with some updates to send to a few people. Out of courtesy, I show it to two other people so they can feel like a part of it and even add their name - team work, yay! But no, no, no. Now we have to share it with four other people, at least, for review and feedback. It was supposed to take 10 min, now it's going to be at least 10 solid hours and the message will be a patchwork of what everyone wants. This is one of the reasons why I'm tired of this part of the company and why I need something else. It seems like big companies just lose speed and agility eventually. It's tiring and damaging for any kind of effective work you might have any motivation to do. Soon enough you are struggling, pushing yourself to not give up on it... just one more little meeting to "share the vision" and we'll send that once-supposed-to-be simple email. Multiply this by dozens of emails, dozens of reports, plans, projects, programs, ideas, brainstorms, meetings to prepare for meetings and you have a pretty much business-as-usual day in the office. I'm not getting any younger. Ranting over. Now, let´s use some of the coaching lessons I´ve been preaching. One of the quotes that comes to mind is: Never apologize. Never explain. Just get the thing done, and let them howl. Agnes Macphail, a female politician from the 19th century (!), said this and now, so many generations later a woman from across the globe reads and find inspiration in it. Thank...

Middle life crisis or not, it's time to reinvent myself and change things upside down.   I've been working for 10 years in the corporate world for a big technology company. I´ve studied hard, took an MBA, travelled the world and worked in 4 different countries. Things are jamming and the path is clear. Except that I don't want this anymore. Therefore, I took three months off from work to rest - but life slapped me in the face instead and now I sort of have an idea. Sort of. Kids, family, helping others physically and emotionally. This space is to register this adventure. I don't really know how this site is going to work, yet: Should it be kind of a journal? Reporting? Classic Venting? Will it be shared, for no one or for my future self? We'll see. For now, I'm heading off to my first class of a Coaching certification I'm taking. It's focused on Perspectives, and it's a better way to start as I'm stepping into this whole new and unknown territory. Especially relevant: am I feeling vertigo, panic or just good old excitement?! If you are facing tough situations like these at work, coaching might help you find the best way to approach it. I would love to help you so if you are interested, visit me at Coaching for Me or just email me at hello@coachingfor.me If you are a manager and want to make sure you bring your teams to their best, visit me at Coaching for Work for coaching, team initiatives and Professional Assessments. You can also just email me at...