Week 23: Pulling and Pushing
A week of hair pulling and pushing limits while being pregnant and having a great toddler.
Pulling and Pushing
Week 23: The baby is now the size of a joystick
Pushing my body
Ah, what an intense week, and not necessarily good emotions.
It is excellent that the pregnancy is going so well, we are healthy, and we have our needs covered. I shouldn’t honestly complain. Yet, it was tough.
As the belly is growing, my back and bones are starting to stretch, pull and ache. It is particularly tricky when you are with a very active toddler and a house to take care of. Sleeping was also challenging: hormones make it hard to fall asleep, baby kicks and aches make it easy to wake up.
Pulling my hair
So now I am even more tired (on top of the low iron, this and that…) and becoming more sensitive to everything. This scenario does not go well with a boy that also got too tired this week, with several teeth cutting through, more excitement and novelty than usual and, consequentially, less sleep. His frustration and tiredness are still strange things for him to deal with and he has been experimenting with pulling my hair to express himself.
Now, I am all for self-expression but getting my hair pulled out and feeling several of them being forced out of my scalp as my boy starts laughing with overexcitement is now fun. In fact, it hurts. It hurts my head but and it hurts my feelings. On top of it all, health issues in the family make me connect the lost hair with boldness, suffering and loss. All this pulling was pushing all the wrong buttons.
My husband has been very supportive, and it is a new phase for everyone: the boy is trying to find new ways to express his frustration, we are trying to convey our anger healthily and all of us defining boundaries that work. It will get better; I merely hope that happens soon.
In the meantime, being outdoors helps a lot: it lifts our moods, I make some exercise, the boy gets his space and time to go and explore the world.
Some chamomile tea seems to help all of us at night, and so does a cuddle. Love, respect and patience, this is all – and it’s not little – that we need at the moment. My boy wants to be seen for his needs and new skills as well as his limits; the baby in my belly needs rest, nutrients and loads of love; my man and I need rest and connection.
By pulling all of this to the centre in the next days, I am hoping things will find a new sweet balance.