Shared Loneliness

Lonely Nights

Being with babies all day long can feel lonely sometimes. They have things to tell us, and we have things to say to them, and as you learn to dance together, you learn to speak those things to one another. Yet, there’s not a significant portfolio of topics to talk about; and the conversation often feels one-sided. Plus, only a few things of what you are interested in talking about are appealing or suitable for the baby.

Sometimes you are struggling, having a bad day or night. Or you just want to tell something to someone but it’s now four in the morning, you are changing a diaper, and there’s no one listening. Or just need to share how you wish you were sleeping instead. Or that your back is hurting and you haven’t managed to do some recovery exercises for a few days now.

Lonely Lights

One of these nights I was having one of those moments, and while I was changing my newborn’s diaper, I noticed a few lights on in other houses. I could see them from our window. There were more people awake, just like us. And suddenly it hit me: these were the houses of other families with small babies and children.

They were just like me, changing diapers in the middle of the night, maybe comforting their crying babies or warming up a bottle of milk. Perhaps they were having a particularly bad night and looking for the right medicine or position that would make their treasures a little more comfortable.

We were all doing the same: an act of love, even if solitary. We were all trying our best, to be good mothers and fathers and grandparents. To give the most beautiful start to these babies.

Shared Loneliness

Suddenly, I did not feel loneliness anymore. All of us were part of something shared and unique. It was very comforting and warm to know we were together somehow. So, hang in there, mothers, and fathers and grandparents. You are doing great. We are all doing great.