Motherhood – Emotions Series – Enjoyment
“Enjoyment describes the many good feelings that arise from experiences both novel and familiar.”
The Atlas of Emotions
There is so much enjoyment, so much happiness raising these two amazing boys.
They both fill our house, our days, our hearts with happiness.
It can be tough, it often is. There are moments of anger, disgust, fear and sadness. They have a role and space in our family. The massive emotion, overshadowing everything else, is Joy.
We have fun together and rejoice in each other’s company. There all multiple opportunities to feel compassion and not just from my husband and I but also from our toddler, who already cares so much for everyone else, bringing pacifiers and suggesting a boobie when his baby brother is in distress.
I’m often proud of their achievements, but mostly I rejoice at the kindness and love that has become a part of all layers of this family. There’s peace amidst the chaos. A sense of wonder just from observing everyone else.
And as we engage with the baby and realise how much he will change in less than two years, just by looking at this brother, we recognise that we were given a special ticket to go on a fast and short unbelievable journey. Wow.
Knowing this gives me the calm – most of the times, at least – to deal with the most stressful moments. Yes, the baby got too tired and now needs to cry on and off for hours until he finally settles into a sound sleep. And he needs to do this in your arms, in that funky position that hurts your back, while dinner is waiting and your stomach is grumbling. But guess what, you get to hold your baby in your arms, and your love and care give him the comfort, reassurance and safety to fall asleep when everything feels so scary and overwhelming to him. Let me savour this, I can eat later.
Once, when our eldest was perhaps 4 months, I had left for a few moments and came back to the room. The boy was laying on our bed to play. I walked in and said hello. He looked right back at me and said hello. He was smiling. I completely froze, there was no way to move. My heart exploded, and there were bursts of naches, happiness, love and excitement flowing everywhere.
Of course, he didn’t learn how to speak hello then, today he still doesn’t say it. He was probably mirroring what he saw and heard. Yet, it didn’t matter. This was one of the first times I discovered a new level of happiness, a unique shape of enjoyment and gratitude. Since then, my husband and my children have given me many more moments like this. And for that, I am at awe, each day, for being a part of this family.