I’ll meet you soon.
This time I knew it. I could just feel it in my body that a baby had arrived and was growing inside me. I was glowing with happiness and trying not to get too excited about it. Not before I could take the pregnancy test. But it was clear: the symptoms were there and every single part of me was telling me to connect to my womb where life was just beginning.
When the period was expected to came, nothing happened. It was the confirmation of what I sort of knew already. How exciting! I couldn’t wait to know for sure, share it with my honey and let the fireworks begin. I was singing and dancing in my mind.
The next day came and so did my period. A little discomfort, some warmth and that was it. Dreams crushed in that moment, looking at the drop that told me loud and clear it wasn’t happening. I went on denial, looking for all sources of information online that would tell me that, yes, you can bleed and still be pregnant.
The implantation bleeding was one of the options. In case you are ever in this situation, note that it tends to happen over a week before the period is expected and it’s a bit different. As I was trying to hold on to any hope, the period came in all its glory, leaving no room for doubts.
I started crying and hugging my belly as if saying goodbye to my unborn child. Oh, that hurt. My baby wasn’t coming and I wouldn’t be able to hold him tight. I wouldn’t get to say “welcome to the world, may you be strong, healthy and live the greatest adventures”. I miss him already.
They say it’s very common to lose your pregnancy even before your period comes so most women never find out when it happens. There are many possible reasons but the main one is that there’s some issue in the beginning and the baby isn’t developing well. I must accept that. Or, who knows, maybe I’m wrong and this never happened. Maybe.
Either way, daddy and I will meet the baby soon, and we already love him and miss him like crazy.
Get new posts directly in your inbox
Join the mailing list to receive the latest posts from Time for Changes.