Week 21: Dragon Egg
Week 21: The baby is the size of a dragon egg (!)
My one-year-old is having a great time discovering his new skills and wanting a lot of autonomy and decision power. Mostly it’s a lot of fun to watch and enable. It can, however, be tiring and challenging at times. And, without noticing, I found myself getting more and more tired.
It took me a while to understand what was going on: he’s sleeping more and better than ever, he eats well, he’s happy and healthy. Why am I suddenly more tired again? Is it all from the pregnancy? Nope, the reality is that suddenly simple things are taking longer, requiring adaption, patience and time. And I was getting frustrated because I couldn’t just let him know what we were going to do anymore: now I need to bring him onboard. And it took me a while to get that.
His character is becoming more and more present, and it’s incredible to discover what he comes up with every day. It’s a wonderful experience.
Still, I need to be more aware of my energy levels and emotions to manage what I can do throughout the day. For once this week, I found myself quite angry at him as he splashed his food all over the floor, himself, my head… It is entirely typical, but I just felt a burst of anger. I just wanted him to finish eating, and this was not going in the right direction. And, of course, then I felt terrible and guilty for being angry.
He’s a great kid finding out how to eat and how to express when he doesn’t want any help with the spoon. So, yeah, I am proud of him – but at that moment I was just frustrated. A good lesson to remind myself to check in on how I am feeling and why we are doing what we are doing. Were we there merely to eat or to also learn how to eat, and connect with each other?
Soon there will be two kids, and this will become even more important to keep balance in our family and to enjoy our discoveries together.
In the meantime, the pregnancy is going well and fast progressing. I can feel the baby more and more; my belly is getting quite big and starting to affect my daily life more and more. Essential activities are becoming more challenging, from using the stairs to sleep through the night. It is, however, as marvellous and magic as the first time around. Every time I feel him moving, my whole body smiles. What an incredible sensation. Soon, we’ll get to meet him again at the doctor, and I can’t wait to see him again and know more about him.
I am excited. What is his personality going to be like? In which ways is our family going to change? How will he smell and look like?
How can you already miss someone so much? Can’t wait to see him…!