Not Feeling it

I fell from the stairs while holding my son. Again. I have no words to describe the feeling. Or maybe I can try, in a different post. One thing is for sure: my heart broke with pain, guilt and worry. My son held on to me for safety and he got hurt as a result. One moment, the steps were there, the next one, they were gone and we were falling.
It was not the first time. And since I was a kid there has been countless times when I sprang my ankle, fell in trivial situations and terrains and I’ve broken a few bones already. Maybe someone could conclude I am clumsy. I sure have, for the longest time. However, this has not helped me at all. Every time I apply that label I am telling my body that this is how I am and reinforcing that belief. Instead, I turned to Pilates, to meditation, to trying to be more self-aware. Only after changing my life in ways that made me much happier, have I reduced the number of accidents to almost zero.

Feet Steps

Of course, no more falls and accidents would be better. Unfortunately, I can’t avoid it, but I can try to minimise it.
And recently I realised something I have been neglecting: my feet!
I shall be very positive about them before going into critical mode: they have taken me everywhere. My feet allowed me to stand, they had born my weight – when it was at its lowest and when it was too high – and now they even carry my weight and my son’s. These feet are awesome.
They are also mostly flat, with fallen arches. There is a bit of a bunion going on. On top of it, they are not very fleshy, and I have very little control over the toes. But none of this invalidates that they have been my outstanding companions throughout my life. It is time to give them something back, allow them to be stronger and more comfortable doing the great things they do.
How? It became clear looking at my eldest son. He is often deep squatting, with his whole feet on the ground. He does it in a very comfortable way while playing.
Usually, I would say I can’t squat, but Pilates has taught me a better approach: I am not able to squat yet. So, I am training myself to squat.
If you wonder what that has to do with stronger feet, it is simple: everything.

Without a strong foundation, you can’t do anything robust on top of it – an analogy for so many other things, so much so it sounds like a cliche.

Yet, if your feet are wobbling and feeling insecure, it will be very hard to squat. So, it is necessary, even if not sufficient, for the squat.

And guess what, just after trying a few exercises, I was able to make a deep squat for a few seconds – for the first time in my life.
I’ll be posting more about those exercises and the journey to being able to deep squat.

The goal: squat out with my toddler while having some fun together.